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August 13 2016

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surfacage:

some guy: instinct just memes around uselessly, i hardly see any of their gyms

me: holds ur face gently listen to me you little shit

August 07 2016

inkskinned:

it’s not about that i know how to do laundry. it’s that when i was four i knew how to fold clothes; small hands working alongside my mother, while my older brother sat and played with his toys. it’s that i know what kind of detergent works but my father guesses. it’s that in my freshman year of college i had a line of boys who needed me to show them how to use the machine. it’s that the first door they knocked on belonged to me. it’s that they expected me to know.

it’s not that i know how to cook. it’s that the biggest christmas present i got was a little plastic kitchenette i never used except to climb on. it’s that my brother used it more, his hands ghosting over pink buttons and yellow dials. it’s that when my work needs cake for a birthday, they turn to me. i get it from costco. i don’t even like cooking. a boy burns popcorn in the dorm microwave and laughs. a week later, i do the same thing, and he snorts at me, “just crossed you off my wife list.” it’s that i had heard something like this so many times before that i laughed, too.

it’s not that i don’t love being feminine. it’s that i came home with bruises from trying to be a trick rider on my bike and heard the word “tomboy,” felt my little mouth say, “but i’m not a boy, i’m a girl”. it’s that they laughed. it’s that until i was sitting in my pretty dress and smiling with a big pretty smile and blinking my big pretty eyes, i wasn’t given back the title “girl”. it’s that until i wore makeup and styled my hair i was bullied; it’s that when i don’t wear makeup i’m a slob, that my mental health diagnosis hangs on the hook of being dressed up. it’s that my therapist sees me returning to bright red lipstick and tells me i am looking happier and i have to explain that i am more sad than i have ever been. it’s that i dress myself in as many layers as i can every time i ride a train because it’s better to be laughed at than harassed. 

it’s not that i know how to clean, it’s that my brother’s chores were outside where i wanted to be, and mine were inside. it’s that i would have weeded the garden better than he did if they had just let me. it’s that i am put in charge of fixing other’s messes, expected to comply without complaint.

it’s not that i can’t open the jar. it’s that you ask my brother first every time. it’s that i am pushed into docile positions, trained to believe that my body when it’s strong and healthy is ugly, trained into being less, weaker. it’s that the jar is also science, is also engineering, is also every job, every opportunity. it’s that you laugh faster when he tells a joke, that you take him seriously but wave off me, that when he raises his voice he’s assertive but when i do i’m hysterical. the jar is getting into a car with a stranger as a driver and wondering if this is our last ride. the jar is knowing that if something happens to us, it’s our fault. 

it’s that i’m weak and i don’t know if it’s because i just am or i was trained to be. it’s that we need to sit pretty with our pretty smiles and our pretty words trapped pretty and silent in our throats, our hands restless but pretty when idle, our bodies vessels for nothing but a future white dress. it’s that we are taught someone else needs to open the jar for us.

here’s the secret: run metal lids under hot water, they’ll expand faster than the glass they’re around. here’s the secret: when you keep us under hot water, we do more than boil. we expand over our edges. and we learn how to open our mouths, our claws, our screams hanging in kites over cities. just give me a chance. give me a chance when i am four when i am seven when i am twenty-three. i promise i can be amazing. give me the jar. i’ll show you something.

August 06 2016

lila-bourgeois-cesaire:

shacklefunk:

shacklefunk:

I block people who have the same icon as me

update: attempted to block myself


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rileylaroux:

retrogradeworks:

maariamph:

After 20 years they still suck

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i adore this

LEAKED Suicide Squad Script

demonbarber14:

Hi my name is Lime Green Jared Leto Joker Banksy and I have short green hair (that’s how I got my name) and icy blue eyes that are like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like marilyn manson (AN: if you don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I have pale white skin. I’m also a criminal and go to an asylum called Arkum in GOTHam. I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I love hot topic and buy all my clothes from there. Today I was wearing a purple leather jacket and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner. I even hav black teeth. I have lots of goffick tattoos with skullz and other goffick symbols.I was walking outside arkum. It was snowing and raining, so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. Batman stared at me. I put up my middle finger at him.

August 02 2016

creap:

im sick and tired of men complaining about women being afraid of them like i DO NOT CARE if it hurts your feelings when a girl crosses the street to get further away from you!!! we hear how men talk about us! we see how men treat us! well stop being scared of men when they stop being so fucking scary!

July 20 2016

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original-cypher:

MELBOURNE ARE SAVAGES

July 19 2016

cognato:

me: *is born*

me: I would very much like to be excluded from this narrative, one that I have never asked to be a part of,

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yrbff:

shitty microsoft paint one direction

zenlikejen:

PLS

July 17 2016

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ladynorbert:

ladynorbert:

manfuckyopride:

STOP ENCOURAGING CANNIBALISM.

I have been informed that this post does not, in fact, refer to cannibalism.

p0tbarbie:

p0tbarbie:

every single negative stereotype about women was dreamt up by men who were projecting. fight me about it.

“women can’t drive”

It is so well known that women are better and safer drivers than men that OUR CAR INSURANCE RATES ARE LOWER. Women get into fewer accidents, get fewer DUIs, and receive fewer speeding tickets than men.

“women never shut up”

Several scientific studies have shown that not only do men talk more than women, they also think that women have been talking for much longer than they actually have. Men interrupt and talk over women, dominate conversations, and still think women talk too much.

“women are shallow”

imageimage

Lol next

“my wife is my ball and chain lmao”

Multiple studies have shown that marriage between men and women:
Increases male lifespan, decreases female lifespan
Decreases male depression rates, increases female depression rates
Decreases male stress levels, increases female stress levels
Increases male health and happiness, decreases female health and happiness
Increases a man’s chance of getting a raise or promotion, decreases a woman’s chances of getting a raise or promotion

“women are too emotional”

Men love to say this about women after hurting them, in order to shift the blame and dismiss their feelings in one go. In reality, women are taught to hold our tongues and control ourselves quite literally from birth. We’re taught to put men’s needs and wants ahead of our own emotions regardless of the personal cost. Men are taught to do more or less whatever the fuck they want to women. Men take their emotions out on women while women are expected to shove theirs down.

image

I could go on and on but I don’t really think I need to.

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kardashiansfuckyeah:

I’ve never seen the proletariat and the bourgeoisie more clearly illustrated in one instagram post

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andkool:

The one directly under her is like “she made me first”

ultrakdramamama:

GET THOSE LIGHTS OFF

retroactivebakeries:

daisukitoo:

slab-o-meat:

slab-o-meat:

crabs are so gentle, they can be so kind. their claws? precise little things, so careful in the sand, so careful with food. they do what they must to live and wave their claws to express their joy to the world for giving so much to them, for giving such kindness to these creatures known as crabs. please be gentle to crabs

i was on. a new sleep medication last night


#im reblogging this cause i know for a fact it was that exact gif i was looking at when i wrote this post on meds

katmcgovern:

krisseycrystal:

cumberblunt:

FUCKING UNMUTE THIS

Owl: [in a small, cute, gravelly voice] Drugs.

Sunny: No, we’re…we’re okay.

Owl: [same voice] Drugs?

Sunny: This is awkward. No thank you.

Owl: [higher pitch] Drugs?????

Sunny: Who invited–who invited–?

literally my favorite vine of all time

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